Elba's 1 Month Update

1 Month Old

Elba turned one month old on Christmas day. They are right when they say it goes by quickly. This past month has been both the longest and quickest month of my life. Sleep deprivation made the days drag on yet every time I put her in her car seat she fits just a little bit better. The breast infection makes it feel like each day has no end yet I put her in her jammies and I have to shove her little fat thigh in the leg hole. I love watching her grow, but at the same time this miniature human that I grew for 9 months is now getting bigger and more aware. She has become so fun these last two weeks that it makes me sad to see her newborn clothes get more and more snug. I am starting to cherish the newborn cries and the 1AM wake-up calls where it is just the both of us. It is crazy to think that she is my first born and these moments are already going by in the blink of an eye. That being said, she is aware of my presence more than ever. When I speak she looks around for me. When I look at her she looks back at me. She has come to know me as her momma this past month and it is the most rewarding feeling in the world. I love every bit of my baby girl and I can't believe we are already 1 month down. 

Here are some quirks Elba has developed over the past month:

When I kiss her mouth really quickly she opens it really wide with a shocked face

When she needs to poop she makes the cutest little kissy face

Her stretches crack me up

She makes goat sounds in her sleep

She often makes sounds like the minions in 'Despicable Me'

She smiles at Zack and I

She must have the best dreams ever because she is always smiling in her sleep

She hates when I sit down with her, she wants me to be moving 24/7

Even though she hates when I sit, she loves to sleep on my chest

She loves sleeping on Zack's chest

She REFUSES to poop when she is swaddled...but the second I unswaddle her she gets really unclassy with her poops  

She loves her Wubbanub pacifiers and holds on to them tightly and can put them back in her mouth

She loves to projectile spit-up down my cleavage so I have a nice vomit smell to my chest all day

Some nights she wakes every 2 hours and other nights she will sleep between 4-6 hours 

She gets really aggressive when I breast feed her

She had her first bottle at 3 weeks 

She LOVES bath time

She sucks her thumb and index finger when she is in the bath, I think she feels like she is back in the womb

She loves loud noises when she sleeps and cannot sleep in silence 

She is most relaxed when we are having a busy day hopping in and out of the car 

She falls asleep when I am walking around with her in my arms doing things, she knows the difference between swaying back and forth and actually applying myself to my household duties...she likes to see me struggle with household chores and putting her to sleep at the same time

She is extremely strong 

She is either smiling during diaper changes or trying to kick the crap out of me

She is still in newborn diapers and newborn clothes

She hates the cold 

She is happiest when being in physical contact with someone else (she likes when my hand is on her face holding her pacifier in her mouth)

She loves sleeping with a "rain sound" app I have on my phone

She melts our hearts

XOXO Sydney 

Postpartum Update + Things I Did and Didn't Expect

Postpartum Update

Okay, so I have been planning on doing a postpartum update for weeks now and I have gotten around to it slowly. Newborns are so distracting ;) 

I knew mommy-hood would be hard, I just didn't realize how hard it would really be. I know what late nights are...my major in college was a bachelor of science in Biology/Chemistry. I thought to myself,  I know late nights...I mean finals week was hell, how much worse can it be? MUCH WORSE. There is nothing like sleep deprivation from taking care of a newborn. It is mentally and physically exhausting. Nothing can prepare you for the exhaustion you feel. Nothing can prepare you for the pain you feel when your milk comes in. Nothing can prepare you for the pain you feel after a vaginal birth. Nothing can prepare you for the pain you feel when you get a breast infection and breast feed through it. Nothing can prepare you for the frustration and sadness you feel when you think you are doing something wrong. NOTHING.

But...nothing could prepare me for the immense amount of love I would feel for this tiny human. She hasn't even had a conversation with me yet and I feel like I know every part of her. I feel like I am the only one that can really give her what she needs at the end of the day. I am who she looks to in order to survive, and although I may only be her food source right now and her comforter I know she will grow to know me as her momma. I cannot wait for the day when she looks at me and says "momma." 

All of this pain is worth it. I know that once I am past the sleep deprivation, the breast infection, the pain that comes with breast feeding in the beginning and the frustrations with thinking I'm doing it all wrong, I know the struggle will all be worth it in the end.

Here are some things I jotted down throughout my recovery process:

Things I DID expect

I knew I would fall in love with her the moment I met her

I planned to breast feed and expected sometimes that comes with complications

I knew I would have at least some recovering to do after a vaginal delivery

I knew I would want at least SOME help the first few weeks

I knew I would be living in granny panties (hate the word panties) and sweat pants for at least a week

I figured I would have at least SOME sleep deprivation

I have been around infants before, I have younger siblings, I thought I knew exactly what to expect

Things I DID NOT expect

I did not expect the amount of pain I would feel in my vagina after a vaginal delivery...yeah

My tailbone felt like someone took a bat to it for a week straight

Showering during that first week hurts everywhere...

I had night sweats...wake up drenched, night sweats

My hormones are all over the place

I did not expect to ice my vagina even after coming home from the hospital

I did not expect to look down at my vag and see stitches from tearing naturally during birth

I was pleased to put heating pads on my engorged boobs, I did not expect to blister from leaving them on for too long...but I did

I didn't think I would need to take a stool softener for weeks after birth

I wasn't aware of the lack of sleep you actually get, not because baby doesn't sleep, but because I am so concerned by every little sound she makes and I am constantly checking to make sure she is still breathing

CONSTIPATION

When I first began breastfeeding I was so engorged she couldn't latch correctly, my nipples bled for a week straight

I didn't expect to need to use a "nipple shield" during my first week of breast feeding

Breast feeding feels like knives and needles in the beginning and I would bawl through every feeding

I did not think I would get a breast infection

I didn't expect the first round of breast infection antibiotics to not work, only for the infection to get worse...

I did not expect to run a fever for days on and off with my infection...increasing my night sweats

I did not realize the size pads you need to wear for the amount of bleeding after birth

I did not think it would hurt to stand, sit, and sleep

Weight loss did not cross my mind after birth and I thought it would

I didn't anticipate just how much I would need my own mom

There are countless more things I did not expect and there is something new every day. This is a crazy journey and nothing can prepare you for it. No advice can prepare you for what you are going to feel and experience.

She is now my primary concern and my needs come after her needs are met. I sit on the couch some days starving because she is on my boob all day, but her needs have to be met before my own and even though it is frustrating when some days I would really just like to eat my breakfast and shower it comes naturally to care for her first and take care of my needs second. For now, I am just trying to soak up her tiny-ness, appreciate her cuddles and try not to hang myself every time she has a huge poop blow-out in her diaper for the third time that day. I love when she sleeps on my chest and when she smiles in her sleep and when she escapes her swaddle. I just want to try my best every day to bask in the newborn stage because I understand it is fleeting. 

I love you my sweet Elba girl.

Momma will always be here for you.

I am going to be doing more detailed postpartum updates once I am closer to being 6 weeks postpartum and can talk about work outs and diet and my 6 week check up, but I will be doing her monthly updates!

XOXO Sydney

Gender Reveal

I know that is has been posted on Facebook & Instagram and all over the place, but I thought I would post a proper gender reveal.

OUR BABY GIRL:

We went to the doctors at 12 weeks and we were told it was definitely looking girly. We planned on doing a whole gender reveal party and everything and then we realized that it wasn't really for us...they seem fun and I love seeing other people's gender reveal parties but we couldn't keep our mouth shut. We instead told our family and closest friends that the ultrasound technician believed it was a girl. We waited to confirm at our 16 week appointment to tell everyone. It wasn't really a secret, we just didn't want to share the gender with people until we knew for sure. There was NO DOUBT ABOUT IT at the 16 week appointment that it was a girl. The ultrasound technician is so funny she kept calling our little girl flashy and there was a point where our little babe was full on spread eagle...modest. Although, it was definitely helpful in confirming the gender, she definitely wasn't shy!

So here she is at our 16 week 4 days appointment. Doing little backflips! She is so cute, she is also super active. I feel her moving all of the time and she is not very gentle. I was surprised to be feeling them so early, but even Zack can feel her little kicks when he puts his hand on my belly. She is feisty for sure! She is most active when Zack and I are having a conversation or when she hears Zack talk, it is the cutest thing....I totally teared up the first time I felt her. It was the weirdest and greatest feeling ever. 

  This is the photo Zack posted on his instagram and his facebook for the official announcement!!!

 I posted the glitter storm on my instagram which I am sure you all saw if you are following me on there!!!

Oh and we couldn't forget Oak's instagram, yeah we are those weird people that have an instagram for their dog...  So below is his official instagram announcement that he is gonna be a big brother to a little girly! Awe he's getting a sister, which is nice because he prefers little girls to boys....boys are too rough with him!

We would have been happy with either gender as long as our little babe was healthy! BUT we are extremely excited that she is our little girly....and Zack was extremely excited as well, he wanted a baby girl and I must admit I was kinda hoping! I knew that at some point that I wanted at least just one girl, now I don't care if I have 6 little boys running around as long as I got one baby girl!