Wednesday, May 14, 2014

11 Weeks Pregnant Picture & Body Image

Let me just start by clarifying a few things, I took this picture at 6:30PM at 11 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I am one day away from being 12 weeks pregnant here and I also have consumed about 12 water bottles throughout the day prior to this photo and had just eaten dinner maybe 30 minutes before. I woke up from a mini nap and I was irritated that I had forgotten to take the picture again this I jumped out of bed and took the picture in two seconds. Normally I attempt to take the picture some time in the morning but that never works out, for my 12 week picture I likely will and I am sure I will look much smaller than I do here. I am not gonna lie, I was pissed when I saw this picture and I just thought, whatever, I don't even care anymore... I am exhausted and I am pissed that I look bloated, but there is nothing I can change about it. It has been a really difficult week for me emotionally dealing with my changing body. I knew that pregnancy would bring on changes, but for some reason the weeks are flying by and I wake up and look in the mirror and try to suck it in and it just doesn't happen anymore, it is going by quickly and I feel like each week I am slowly not recognizing my body and it is a lot to take in. I am so grateful that I am healthy enough to carry a baby naturally, I know that women struggle to get pregnant and I know my mom certainly did and I am not taking any of it for granted, I am just adjusting to changes just like an other woman would be. I think my recent upset is largely attributed to the fact that I haven't been in control of my eating habits, not like I am eating out of control, but that I am not eating as clean as I would like to be. Typically I am good about making home cooked meals every night loaded with veggies, but vegetables have been appalling to me lately and I have been sick for the majority of the first trimester and have been needing to eat carbs and bready things more often than I would prefer. I cannot wait until the second trimester rolls around...I can't wait to regain some energy and feel somewhat like myself again. 

How far along: I am 11 weeks and 6 days along in this picture and look like I could be delivering tomorrow.

Symptoms: Sleeping all of the time. I am falling asleep 3 hours after I wake up in the morning. This morning I fought the urge to fall back asleep and I ended up just dozing off periodically throughout the day. So I think I am just going to listen to my body and fall asleep for that extra thirty minutes in the morning to stay energized. Uhmm what else...oh yeah, I pee every five seconds. Not exaggerating, if I even drink an entire waterbottle in a short period of time I will go to the bathroom maybe 6 times after that one water bottle. I get annoyed with myself. It is a lose-lose situation too, because I can't just cut back on liquids because I am always thirsty! I love water bottles as it is (weird obsession), but I have already almost finished off a arrowhead case of 24 waters in 2 days. I think Zack might've had two....So all in all I have been sleepy, peeing like crazy, thirsty, bloated, and morning sickness here and there.

Cravings:  Towards the end of this week I have been loving all fruit again. I kind of took a break from my cold banana obsession and now it is back, I have about 2 bananas a day and I have grape fruit, multiple oranges, and nectarines...However, I do not like baked goods whatsoever, like if there is a plate of cookies in front of me I can easily pass them up...I can't say the same for any chewy candy like skittles and jelly beans, but for some reason this week I am all about baked goods. Cheesecake often crosses my mind, I think I have day dreamed about a cupcake a few times and I had a box of cookie mix in my cart at the grocery store that Zack convinced me to opt out of, that largely had to do with the fact that my cart was filled with things like fruity pebbles, red velvet cupcakes, peanutbutter cookie mix, what else did I have in there? oh cream. He said that the cart looked like a five year old girls cart and there were way too many colors that were coming from all the wrong aisles of the store. I started cracking up and looking down at my ridiculous cart and he allowed one thing haha I opted for the ice cream to share with him. Normally I am not like that at the grocery store at all so we were laughing about it for the majority of the trip.

Aversions: When I am hungry everything sounds awful. I hate all things. I make Zack look on pinterest to come up with dinner ideas and he throws out a good 15 ideas and I hate them all. I have begun to get really frustrated with myself because nothing sounds good lately, but I feel sick and I don't eat until the point of feeling sick and I end up eating something crackery or bready and it is extremely annoying. I know this part of pregnancy will end soon, but for as quickly as it goes by it certainly does have its moments that feel like they will go on forever. 

Wedding rings: On

Sleep: All the time, that's all there is to say about that. 

Excited for: Our next ultrasound appointment on Monday where we get to see our little jelly bean gummy bear peanut love face.

Missing: Having a normal appetite. Miss eating the foods that I loved filled with healthy veggies. The fruit kick is a good sign at least and I feel like my body is slowly adjusting and gonna handle the second trimester much better. I am missing super sweaty workouts. 
Movement: None

Dr. update: We see him on Monday so nothing yet!

Exercise: I workout multiple times a day. I go on a walk with Oak and Zack usually at night since it has been so hot and I also workout during the day. I will either workout on the eliptical or the bike or do some home exercises here or both. I have been easing back into HIIT workouts again after I was on bed rest for two weeks last month and I have just been doing them at a lower tempo. I haven't been going my hardest because I want baby to be safe, but I am also working up a good sweat and doing my best to strength train.

All in all it has been a very emotional past few weeks for me regarding pregnancy. I have read moms everywhere struggle with the body image thing. It was something I was prepared for, but I was not sure how much it would affect me. I am adjusting and I know that my body is healthy and I am loving every minute knowing that I am growing a healthy baby, but I am a girl and I am aware of my body and I am hormonal and entitled to a few mini break downs here and there when I have to use a rubberband as a button for my jeans haha! My doctor did mention that I would likely be showing early on because I don't have the longest torso in the world...or one at all for that matter so I know that everything is going along as it should, I just think I am going to need to invest in some maternity clothes here pretty soon!